Finding Grace During the Holidays: Navigating Grief and Joy
The holidays have a way of magnifying everything—our joys feel brighter, and our heartaches feel deeper. This year, the loss of my grandpa in November has made this season feel heavier, and I know I’m not alone in feeling that way. Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, and when the world around us is celebrating, it can feel like we’re out of sync.
If you’re missing a loved one this holiday season, I want to remind you of something important: it’s okay to feel it all. The joy, the sorrow, the laughter, the tears—there’s room for all of it. And most importantly, there’s no “right” way to navigate this time.
Here are a few things I’m holding onto this season that I hope will bring you some encouragement, too:
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Everything
Holidays don’t come with rules about how you’re supposed to feel. You might find yourself laughing at a funny family moment one minute and crying over a memory the next—and that’s okay. It’s possible to hold joy and grief at the same time. Allow yourself to feel it all without guilt or shame.
2. Opt Out of Traditions (and Start New Ones)
If a tradition feels too heavy to carry this year, it’s okay to let it go. Maybe there’s a certain meal, event, or activity that brings up too much pain right now. Give yourself the grace to say no.
At the same time, you might find comfort in starting a new tradition. This year, I’ve been thinking about ways to honor my grandpa—whether it’s sharing a story about him, reading through some of his books he loved, or listening to the classical music that was always on in the car. New traditions can be a way to carry our loved ones with us in a way that feels healing and meaningful.
3. Acknowledge That the Holidays Can Be Hard and Beautiful at the Same Time
It’s okay if this season doesn’t feel entirely merry. For many of us, the holidays are a mix of joy, longing, gratitude, and grief. Allowing yourself to acknowledge the complexity of those feelings can be freeing. You don’t have to force cheerfulness if you’re not feeling it, and you don’t have to stifle happiness if it does bubble up.
4. Lean Into Connection
Grief can feel isolating, especially during a season that’s so focused on togetherness. If you’re feeling that way, reach out to someone who understands. It might be a close friend, a family member, or even a support group. Sharing your heart with someone who can hold space for you can lighten the weight of what you’re carrying.
5. Take Things One Day at a Time
The holidays can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re grieving. Focus on taking things one moment, one day at a time. You don’t have to have everything planned or figured out. Let yourself move through this season at your own pace.
I’m learning that grief is a reflection of love—the deeper the loss, the greater the love we felt for that person. While the pain of missing my grandpa is raw right now, I know it’s also a reminder of how much he meant to me. And that’s something I want to carry forward, even when it hurts.
If you’re navigating loss this season, know that you’re not alone. The holidays may look different this year, but that’s okay. Give yourself grace, hold onto what feels right, and let go of what doesn’t. Most importantly, remember that it’s okay to feel everything—you’re allowed to grieve, to celebrate, and to hold your loved ones close in your heart, no matter where they are.
From my heart to yours, I’m sending you peace, comfort, and all the grace you need this holiday season. 💛