I left the big arena for a smaller one.
Posted on August 10 2018
My transition from encouraging hundreds of women in a recognition filled arena to encouraging one during tummy time in a not so recognition filled arena!
It was a year ago at seminar that I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. Part of me feels like this was just yesterday another part of me feels like it was a lifetime ago.
I am extremely private when it comes to this conversation but it’s been almost a year and women are still connecting with me from that arena so I feel like I should finally share how everything unfolded.
It was August and I felt God nudging me to breath, He was telling me to slow down. In my 6 years I had earned 4 trips, developed many directors, was crowned Queen and had just finished my best year at 27! You can imagine the confusion that came with those words...slow down. But there was also a level of clarity I had never experienced before when it came to hearing from Him. Just 2 months prior in June I had experienced a miscarriage with some complications, so life, emotions, reflections were all very raw. I was leaning in and listening with an eager ear and He was saying slow down. I wrestled with this BIG TIME. I started pulling back in my business and attempted my version of slow down! All it took was 1 month of slowing down and that Friday night as we were packing to leave for an island in Canada the pregnancy test was positive! The next 2 months were a blur, I was experiencing insomnia. I believe it was part pregnancy and part God, it was 2 more months of “slow down”. I cried, I wrote, I prayed, I spent night after night awake trying to navigate this shift. Why would I work as hard as I did for 6 years and then slow down. After many weeks of no sleep and wrestling with God, I told Adam I wanted to step away from being a top sales director. I wasn’t sure what this would look like for me but I was finally ready to listen.
As you can imagine, he was shocked and honestly, worried about our finances. We had built a lifestyle around an income I had worked really hard to create.
I prepared a letter to give my National at fall experience about stepping back. I was terrified, sad, emotional and nervous about revealing this information. The last thing I wanted to do was disappoint her or the women I had worked with and honestly I still wasn’t sure why this was the message from God.
The advance came and at the end before the letter was passed I found out she was retiring. I was quiet, I was somber, I was calm, I was all of the emotions you wouldn’t expect because it started to make sense. I could step into this prayerfully considered decision without hurting the person I was most worried about hurting. And so, I did! I resigned from my top sales director position and took an entire month to focus on me, baby and listening and leaning on God because this was one of the hardest things I’d ever done.
I’m not going to lie, we were broke, more then broke, we were going negative, but I had an immense sense of peace that we would be taken care of! So we did what you do during a time like this, we eliminated every expense that was a “luxury”. Phones, cable, eating out, shopping, it all stopped. During this time of prayer and transition I fervently prayed to God that he would reveal to me what was next.
I had women approach me about direct sales, I thought about teaching, I thought about selling our house and finding away to live off one income, I prayed, I brainstormed, I filled a notebook with ideas and waited. Eventually Grey House Goods was born, I started creating again and committed to the idea of “slowing down”.
In this season of life I am trying to be the best momma to Pierce, have fun with my boutique and really listen to God. I am forever grateful for those 6 years and grateful for direct sales! To the other ladies out there working your direct selling business, you go girl, I know your doing it to make a better life for yourself and your family and I applaud you!
Today I am grateful I listened after wrestling with God and have taken this transition one day at a time. I often think about how lucky I am to have had a season of achievement like I did in my early 20’s and now a season of total imersement into motherhood. I hope that during that season of achievement I inspired someone or made an impact in their life and today I am hoping I can do the same for Pierce.
One day again, I would love to have the privilege of encouraging and inspiring others in a larger arena but for now my encouragement involves getting a smile out of my sweet boy during tummy time!